Ronin's Adventures

Ok here's Ronin: (Ended up sticking with my usual name )




Sneaking around Riverwood stealing some stuff.




First Dragon down like a fucking boss.





My First murder victim: Faendal. I screwed him over with the girl and favoured the other guy AND stole some shit from his house. A while later I was intercepted by three hired thugs outside Whiterun with a note on them from Faendal asking for me to be dealt with. Needless to say, I crept into his house and murdered him while he slept.





Oh I'm sorry...did I break your concentration?





Latest murder. Husband and a Wife headed through a mountain pass with only a single bodyguard and the idiot admits to me in conversation they are taking expensive gifts to a wedding to curry favour with a local imperial merchant. Of course I ambushed them further down the road and took said valuables.





Went to the top of the mountain to visit the greybeards (Watch out for the Frost Troll en route, hits like a truck) and on the way back, an Ice dragon ambushed me. Ronin 2. Dragons 0.





Dragon number #3! Came out of nowhere and starting attacking a bunch of bandits holed up in an abandoned fort near Whiterun that I was about to enter. Flung some dude over the wall and he landed next to me lol.





Won't spoil the quest details, but basically, had to choose between two parties, chose one, got hefty reward, then killed both of them and took even more reward off their corpses. Including 2 Scimitars >.<




Dragon Number #4. Randomly flew down and picked up a bear and tossed it it across the landscape into a a hot spring. Killed this fucker quick as hell using a a +25% bow damage helmet, Trueshot potion and Ice resistance pot.

Love the name man

Dragon kill number five at the top of a peak. This one for a bounty too. In the background you can see my horse Bertha who survived the fight somehow...



Alas...She died from a fall negotiating the downward journey from the mountain. R.I.P Bertha. You were slow and fat, but you backed me up in a fight and saved me from dying to at least 3 bears. You will be missed.




Officially part of the thieves guild. The guild armour not only looks bad ass, comes with some awesome stat bonuses too. Is on par with elven armour protection wise as well.

Bertha.. was that a name off the top of your head for forum purposes? Or could you actually name her? If so, I haven't figured out how.. so if you can.. how do you name your horse?

Melodrama wrote:Bertha.. was that a name off the top of your head for forum purposes? Or could you actually name her? If so, I haven't figured out how.. so if you can.. how do you name your horse?

With your imagination, or get a special horse thats already named. Like my mighty Stallion FROST!

Edokhiin wrote:

Melodrama wrote:Bertha.. was that a name off the top of your head for forum purposes? Or could you actually name her? If so, I haven't figured out how.. so if you can.. how do you name your horse?

With your imagination, or get a special horse thats already named. Like my mighty Stallion FROST!

Righto, was just checking

Dude! it's not even fair. I can't seem to find dragons when I want them, and at least two I spotted flew away and never came back.

Melodrama wrote:Dude! it's not even fair. I can't seem to find dragons when I want them, and at least two I spotted flew away and never came back.

Just go after the bounty ones. A lot of the main towns put out bounties for nearby dragons on hilltops or w/e.



"What does Ronin look like? Does he look like a bitch?"
"no..."
"Then why did you try to fuck him like a bitch Jaree?"
"no, no.."
"Yes you did ..Yes you did Jaree. You tried to fuck him. And Ronin doesn't like to be fucked by anyone except Mrs.Ronin.Do you read the bible Jaree?"
"Yes"
Well there's this passage I have memorised, Ezekial 25:17:

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. AND YOU WILL KNOW I AM THE LORD WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE UPON YOU.






These are Flying Horkers.

Your argument is invalid.

The Dragon Sahloknir. Actually the most pissweak one I've faced lol.




Hidden grove, forget the exact name of it. Part of a quest chain to replenish the dying tree in Whiterun. Beautiful scenery I thought




Accompanied a guy into a house to help him search for potential daedra worship. Then a voice told me to kill him. I complied.

Turns out it was Molag Bal the Daedra Prince (aka the King of Rape lol)

In a sad twist of events, my second and most faithful mount charlie has perished at the hands of a stupid Flame Atronarch. R.I.P Charlie.




Nocturnal has a seriously impressive set of crows.....

A dragon randomly dropped down in front of me as I was walking out of Windhelm. The stable owner helped. That is to say, he watched on with interest.



Same again, only this time in Winterhold, right on top of the inn in front of me. Seriously, why even bother attacking winterhold? There's NO ONE THERE T_T. Fucker died like the rest.

So investigating a conspiracy in Markarth, get jumped by forsworn agents who failed to recognise my nightingale armour or were just..stupid.



Then through a series of events I wind up...in Jail



Turns out the jail is also a silver mine...yay!



I appealed my case to the orc door guard...not a single fuck was given.



Had to kill a prison snitch to earn respect. Apparently a shiv can decapitate a person. I never knew.



And here's me escaping from said jail with the forsworn inmates. Somehow I don't think the armour they gave me is a good look....

Jeremiah noooo! Damn your black heart random snow bear!



Ronin's cooking guide: Step 1. Lure your meal into a secret cannibal coven. Step 2: Get them to lay out on an evil daedric altar. Step 3: Slice in a downward motion with a sharp blade.



Step 4: Serve with a garnish of blue mountain flower and enjoy.



A large mysterious white substance was found dripping from the mouth of the victim. Police haven't ruled out sexual assault.



Oh this? Nothing really. Just beating to death some poor sod on the altar of Molag Bal. No biggie really.



Elder Dragons: Not to be fucked with.



It's ok. I know why you're angry. Your name is terrible and no one can pronounce it properly, not even the other dragons.



Even dragons need sleep. X3 Stealth attack in 3...2...1...



3 Stealth shots. Fucker didn't even get off the ground. Pathetic.

ron1n wrote:Elder Dragons: Not to be fucked with.

It's ok. I know why you're angry. Your name is terrible and no one can pronounce it properly, not even the other dragons.

Even dragons need sleep. X3 Stealth attack in 3...2...1...

Haha, is that an elder dragon? I killed that chap a few days ago, he was kinda pathetic.

Dragons sleep? Sweet! I thought they just fly and fly and roar and fly until they've killed everything in the vicinity, then hunt you down.

Melodrama wrote:

ron1n wrote:Elder Dragons: Not to be fucked with.

It's ok. I know why you're angry. Your name is terrible and no one can pronounce it properly, not even the other dragons.

Even dragons need sleep. X3 Stealth attack in 3...2...1...

Haha, is that an elder dragon? I killed that chap a few days ago, he was kinda pathetic.

Dragons sleep? Sweet! I thought they just fly and fly and roar and fly until they've killed everything in the vicinity, then hunt you down.

Nah the elder dragon was different. They're a lot tougher than regular dragons or even blood ones. Can tell them by their gold colour.

Yeah I've caught a couple sleeping. One was sleeping on top of a dragon word plaque. Go down quite quickly with stealth damage lol

I lol'd.



Swimming rabbit gives zero fucks.





^ Never actually noticed that until last night.

I tried burning the things! I emptied two hands of fire into the stump, but they kept on trucking along. Ninja ants.